Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into 4 pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of those pieces – Judith Viorst

There is a packet of shapes hidden behind my bedside table. It was bought as part of a by 2 for $5 deal and it’s partner was hoovered down in an afternoon a couple of weeks ago..by me.I guess the fact they are still sitting there is a good thing right?

I’m going to leave them hidden there, not only are they hidden from DH so he doesn’t know I’ve been pigging out but they are also out of my line of sight, therefore out of sight and out of mind. They will stay there until DS’s birthday party and then can appear as part of the party food shopping.

I sometimes wonder if hiding food like I do is a type of eating disorder. I’ve read that people who suffer from anorexia hide food so they don’t have to eat it and for those with bulimia they apparently hide it to eat later…that’s what I’m doing isn’t it? Does that mean that I might be bulimic? That’s quite a scary thought!

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson

I need to find the strength to continue this journey without falling back into these bad habits like buying crackers or chocolate when I go to the supermarket for something else, eating some (or all) of said food and then hiding the rest or the wrappers so no-one knows. I need to find the strength to stop myself from picking at leftovers or having more than one serving of dinner if it’s something I love.Somehow, from somewhere, I need to find strength.

I need that strength, that self control if I am going to win this battle.

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough – Og Mandino