So, I was on a roll at the gym tonight and then I pull a muscle

I was actually doing some running..well interval training, I was running for 30 secs walking for 30 secs and had clocked up about 5 mins doing so and then ping major pain in my calf muscle. Yep.

My next personal training session is on Saturday so I hope I can still do it! Next official weigh in on Monday but I’m going to do my usual weigh in tomorrow morning on my scales.

Fingers crossed for some more downwards action!

85.8kg! Woohoo. Today has been a good day The ‘real’ weigh in is tomorrow so hopefully I show the same sort of loss on the gym’s scales too. Eating has been good, a bit of a falture on Wednesday when I ate 4 of the cheerio sausages that I bought for Noah’s lunch. On that day however we had walked to the supermarket, bank etc and I went to the gym the evening too. I’m not going to get into that “I’ve been to the gym so I can eat …” because that’s got me into trouble in the past. This time I am going to succeed. I am being realistic though and I know if I deny myself stuff that I’ll more than likely end up having a major blow out sooo rather than giving in and having takeaways for dinner we had fish and stir fry veges and I’m treating myself to a WW Cookies & Cream ice-cream. It’s low fat, portion-controlled AND yummy!

Wish me luck for tomorrow “)

I know I’ve eaten too much birthday cake and other goodies. Today it was marshmallows, sweet scone and 1/2 a vanilla cupcake with peanut butter falvoured icing. I am limiting myself which is a miracle, but right now I’m still hungry after dinner and it’s taking all I’ve got not to get something else to eat. Something sweet that is.

Going to get to the gym again tomorrow. I need to with weigh day coming up on Saturday.

Well, I’ve made it to the end of the week

I weighed in this morning and according to my scales I’ve lost 1kg so hopefully when I have my official weigh in next Saturday it will be over that…2 kg would be fantastic!

Today, as birthdays go didn’t start off too well. I did something to my shoulder (don’t know what!) and was practically in tears so a quick trip to the chiropractors before work sort of helped. Better than struggling through the whole day in that much pain.

Work was ok, took in a batch of muffins for the guys which went down well. I was dying to have one but I didn’t give in   I was glad to get out of there at the end of the day though. I also managed to resist the temptation of those stacks of chocolate bars they have by the till in service stations. I was very tempted!

Foodwise – Muesli & milk, almonds, smoked chicken & salad, crackers and smoked chicken. So yes, most of the day was good eating wise. This evening I had 6 pieces of teriyaki chicken sushi and a small slice of chocolate cake. Gotta have cake on your birthday right? I got hubby to cut me a piece so I wasn’t tempted to cut too much but I tell you what, I’m craving more now

Exercise – Step Class. Hard! That’s all.

Right so I’m off for the night, I’m going to enjoy watching Vampire Diaries with piece and quiet (bubs in bed and hubby’s gone to the gym). Ahhh the peace

Today (day 3) I had my first personal training session and man am I unfit! Joey, a lady – it is a woman’s gym after all, set up a circuit for Mum and I with 8 different stations.

We did each exercise for 1 minute the first round and 30 secs the second round. The exercises were; squats with dumbbells, medicine ball swings, step ups, medicine ball sit ups, squats with bar weight, side step ups, shoulder press with bar weight and the plank.

After the first 3 exercises I was starting to feel the full force of my lack of fitness but I managed to push through although holding that damn plank position for 1 minute was tough! Halfway through the 30sec round I started to get light headed and that sick, feel like I’m going to throw up, feeling hit me.  You know, that feeling really, really unfit people get.

Food wise today has had a menu of muesli and fruit along with a protein shake for breakfast (not the nicest tasting things are they?) morning snack of cheese and grapes. Lunch was yummy, half a wholemeal bagel with smoked salmon, lite cream cheese and mesclun salad. It was supposed to be 90g grams of the salmon but there was no way I could eat that much salmon so it was more like 45g. Dinner was another chicken stir-fry with a lemon flavouring to it this time. Dessert tonight will be yoghurt, fruit and nuts. I was supposed to have nuts with breakfast too but completely forgot!

Friday is my birthday and I’m thinking about a small treat that I can have to celebrate. I’m thinking a small amount of yummy dark chocolate perhaps? Or an icecream? I’m not sure yet, it’s got to be something worth it though. Hmmm, still thinking about that one.

Breakfast was a massive fruit smoothie, well it seemed massive anyway! I had some liquid as my blender wasn’t blending the fruit and little bit of yoghurt by itself so I added about 1/2 cup of some juice that was left over in the fridge. Again, I’ve bent the rules a little bit. So I had my smoothie along with 15 almonds which I ate over the course of the morning. I should have really had my morning snack before I went to my first PT session but I didn’t in the end, naughty, naughty.

You really can’t make the right decisions about food when your hungry. For lunch I ended up having leftover chicken chow mein, a lot of it was veges, only a small amount of noodles but approx 3/4 cup of chicken. I should have had a chicken sandwich using the chicken from the chow mein instead but I was too hungry and didn’t have the patience cut up the chicken for the sandwich so I just heated it all up.

First PT session – It wasn’t really a true session as such as it was the first one so we were going over all  the equipment and she was seeing what sort of weights I can do for when she writes the program. I am terribly unfit. I was starting to get slightly out of breath just doing the warm up! How disgusting is that?! My mind automatically defaulted to “your still a bit sick that’s why you’re out of breath” thinking but I know the truth. I’m fat and unfit and have been treating my body badly. Tomorrow is our first proper session, so we’ll see how that goes!

I’ve just finished afternoon tea – combined with morning tea. 6 crackers, 1l2 with 30g of thinly sliced Edam cheese and the other 1/2 with 40g of salmon. It actually called for Tuna but I don’t eat tuna so I swapped it out. the crackers were a bit dry but it was quite nice with the salmon really.

Tonight at work I’m going to have a green or fruit tea instead of tea with sugar and milk. I still want to have something warm so that’s how I’m going to change my habit I’m a work in progress but I will get there.

Oh and I MUST do my measurements before it’s too late!

Ta ta for now

Breakfast – 1 whole egg & 2 egg whites scrambled ( I added 1 tbsp of lite blue milk), eaten with 2 pces multigrain bread with 1 tsp Olivani

Morning Snack – carrot sticks with cottage cheese and pesto

Lunch – smoked chicken in 1/2 wholemeal pita bread with lettuce, cucumber, beetroot and 3 tbsp avocado. 200mlo iced green tea. 3 mandarin segments

Afternoon Snack – pottle of low fat strawberry yoghurt, 8 almonds, cup of tea with 2 tsp sugar & trim milk, Tim Tam Black Forest biscuit (!!!!)

Dinner – Mince & Kidney bean burrito with lettuce, cucumber and carrot

Evening Snack – 1 x peach

Water – 500ML

Exercise – None. I walked around the corner and back again twice but that doesn’t really count.

Comments – I’ve never had cottage cheese before, it was interesting I don’t really like the texture but I found the more I mixed in the pesto the smoother I could make it. The pesto definately improved the taste. Just before lunch I was craving something sweet like fruit or an iced green tea, as you can see I had both of those for lunch in the end. *0g of sliced smoked chicken seemed like heaps! I swapped out tomatoes for beetroot as I don’t eat tomatoes. The avocado, I had to make sure there was beetroot or chicken on my fork at the same time as the texture is just too smooth for me to eat it on it’s own.

There isn’t a lot of fruit allowed for in the meal plans I’ve been given and that’s something that I’m not really happy with so I’ll discuss that with her at my next nutrition meeting and see what I can do about it. I substituted the peach in for my evening snack because 1 it is sweet and too it’s fruit! I didn’t feel like eating anymore nuts, I want to save the protein bars for when I’m at work and I couldn’t make a smoothie as it is too noisy after N has gone too bed. It’s not a major I don’t think it just may not have the right amount of protein that the other choices have.

You will see that I was very naughty too, a biscuit and 2 tsp of sugar in a cup of tea while I was at work. It was a habit to have a cup of tea with sugar while at work but I don’t usually have a biscuit. I think it was because I saw it basically. No other excuse, I just need to make sure it doesn’t happen again!

I need to drink a hell of a lot more water too, I was really good at the end of last week but fell off the wagon over the weekend. Mini Goal – drink more water!!!

So that’s the end of Day One. Tomorrow I have my first PT session, excited!

It’s not much but it’s a start and I’m happy

down 700grams and I’m under 88 YAY!

Today’s Weight = 87.9kg

I feel like yelling at the moment. Bear with me while I get this off my chest.

I am completely stumped as to why employers don’t value loyalty anymore. DH went into work this morning to update them on what was happening with his ankle and after a lot of huffing and sighing his boss mentioned things that basically sounded like if DH can’t go back to work they’ll have to let him go!!!! He mentioned about another employee that had a shoulder injury and operation and if he wasn’t better after “x” amount of time that they would have had to “dismiss” him (the other employee). Threatening much?!?!?!

He also implyed that it was self-inflicted…umm hello DH was participating in a sport, you know, healthy living and all that! It’s not like he asked to land on his ankle funny and do serious damage. I mean come on! Would he rather his employees sit around and not do any exercise?

So rather than being supportive of his employee the guy just adds more stress to the situation by using scare tactics. If he knew his employee he would know that DH wanted to get back to work ASAP.

Oh, that’s another thing he brought up the amount of time DH has had off “recently” and do you know what his recently is? It included things like the annual leave days DH took off in 2009 for our honeymoon to Europe, then the days that DH took off later in 2009 when his mum was in and out of hospital after her cancer diagnosis and the operations she had to have – I think from memory some of those days were annual leave as well others were without pay so he may have some grounds there although it would show a lack of compassion. That’s all besides the fact that it was 2 years ago!!!! Then the next days mentioned were when DS was born again annual leave and then there have been the odd day or 2 off when DH has been sick or most recently injured with his other ankle. So I don’t actually know what legal grounds they have to be complaining about time off when the majority of it has been annual leave.

All of the above mentioned have been genuine reasons for time off not that you have to justify what you do on your annual leave anyway surely!  In comparison to other employees who are off constantly for what I’m sure are hangovers or they just don’t show up or they have a hint of a sniffle. Why are you picking on a hard working employee for goodness sake!!!!!

Arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh. Okay I’m getting all worked up again. Thanks for letting me vent

Ta ta for now

C xx

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into 4 pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of those pieces – Judith Viorst

There is a packet of shapes hidden behind my bedside table. It was bought as part of a by 2 for $5 deal and it’s partner was hoovered down in an afternoon a couple of weeks ago..by me.I guess the fact they are still sitting there is a good thing right?

I’m going to leave them hidden there, not only are they hidden from DH so he doesn’t know I’ve been pigging out but they are also out of my line of sight, therefore out of sight and out of mind. They will stay there until DS’s birthday party and then can appear as part of the party food shopping.

I sometimes wonder if hiding food like I do is a type of eating disorder. I’ve read that people who suffer from anorexia hide food so they don’t have to eat it and for those with bulimia they apparently hide it to eat later…that’s what I’m doing isn’t it? Does that mean that I might be bulimic? That’s quite a scary thought!

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson

I need to find the strength to continue this journey without falling back into these bad habits like buying crackers or chocolate when I go to the supermarket for something else, eating some (or all) of said food and then hiding the rest or the wrappers so no-one knows. I need to find the strength to stop myself from picking at leftovers or having more than one serving of dinner if it’s something I love.Somehow, from somewhere, I need to find strength.

I need that strength, that self control if I am going to win this battle.

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough – Og Mandino