I’ve been reading a blog on the weight watchers site tonight and I came across a comment someone left on this person’s blog. It was in response to this quote the the blogger used (which I think may be a WW quote?)

“Losing weight is hard… but being overweight is harder… choose your hard”

And this is the comment that was left;

“it is hard work .. and its so true .. I’ve been carrying this fat body around for WAY TOO LONG now and that has been even harder …. especially hard when you sit on the side line instead of running and playing with your kids … you have no photos of your self with your children and realise they are growing up and you have no photo memories with me in them … that’s hard !”

This is me. It wasn’t me, but it IS me. That could have been me talking about my life. I am in hardly any photos with my son and he is almost 1 year old! What do I have to show that I was even part of my son’s life this past year? Sweet F all that’s what. It’s not good, it’s far from it actually and it’s damn right sad and terribly terribly upsetting.

With photos such an important way of documenting a child growing up, where in that documentation am I? Hiding behind the camera because I’m too fat to be in front of it that’s where. And it’s not bloody good enough. I want to be like the other mothers that have lots of photos of them with their children.

I want to be someone my son can be proud of, I don’t want him to be embarrassed of his fat mum. I don’t want to be the fat mum, I want to be it and healthy mum who can run around and play soccer with him and his friends all afternoon. I want to be the mum on the field playing soccer myself while my son and husband cheer me on from the sideline.

I don’t want to be this person anymore. I don’t want to look in the mirror everyday and hate what I see, trying to find something that I like about myself. Trying to convince myself that I don’t look that bad. Because I do. I do look bad, I am overweight, obese for my height. I’m only 157cm tall for heaven’s sake, my body isn’t built to carry around this much weight. I need to do something about it and I need to do it soon.

DS is turning 1 in 22 days and I want to be able to look back on the photos of his birthday and know that I was on my way to becoming a mum he can be proud of.

This is it, this is my motivation. My son. This is who I am doing it for. To be fit and healthy, to be a good example for him and to ensure that I am around for as long as I can be.